420 ftw
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
