I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
