my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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