he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
