it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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