If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Redeem this text for a blowjob
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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