either way he was missing a nipple.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
