I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
