Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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