my mouth tastes like poor choices
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
