i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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