he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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