i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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