she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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