Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
