We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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