The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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