Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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