so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
