Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
