I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
