so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
