I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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