I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
