There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
50% drunk capacity currently
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
