im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
