and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
