margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
