New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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