Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
