So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
