I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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