ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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