Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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