What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
