I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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