He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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