she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
