So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
