Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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