he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
