so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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