Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
