I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
