I am spending my child support on dildos
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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