last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
