What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we made out on top of his cat.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
