I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
