so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
