And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
