yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
