so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
