I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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